One of Those Days...

(**For those of you that are just starting to read my blog, if you'd like, the first post explains everything going on--to kind of give you an intro I guess.**)

Everyone always tells me "you're always so positive about things still" and things like that, and I so appreciate that--you are all so kind. My response alot is "thank you, but trust me I complain and have bad days--you can ask my family"...Well, it's been one of those days, well I guess a couple days. My mom and family are all just so sweet though and will let me vent and cry when I need to! (Thank you guys!!!) So here's what's been going on...
I get really tired of using the wheelchair all the time, so I tend to cheat and get up and walk in the house a little bit. Well, after doing that on and off through the day, my legs hurt! Then, yesterday I had an appointment to go get my cortisol lab tests done. This is the lab work that the endocrinologist needs to do to check my adrenal glands to see how they're working, so that we can determine if I can get off my steroids (which I really/ideally need to get off because of the osteonecrosis; and which I want to get off  because I hate the side-effects). Well, my sweet Aunt Jeannie took me to my appointment in the morning, and then I talked to the doctor later that day to go over the results...guess what?! (I'm sure you can guess since I said it's been a couple of those day!) Yep, I'm sure you guessed right...My adrenal glands still aren't working right!!! So, I can taper down to the next lower dose on my steroids, stay on that for a couple weeks, taper to one more lower dose for a week, and redo the labs to see if they're working. I tried so hard not to cry on the phone with the doctor--I asked 'what about the osteonecrosis' and she said 'ideally we need to get you off of them, but with your adrenal glands not working we can't take you off so it may take longer to try and have your bones heal.' Then as I asked her about all of the ways I'd been feeling (constantly nauseated, headache, gaining weight--I've seriously gained 40 pounds since the beginning of this year...and you wonder why I want off these pills--and things) and her answers were just the same--it's the steroids. Now, I've seriously grown to hate these little white pills! I feel like it's this rock and a hard place--they're thinking/assuming that the steroids are what's playing a major role in the osteonecrosis but I can't go off them because of my adrenal glands not working; so it's either stay on the steroids while my bones aren't healing and are dead, or go off the steroids so my bones can start healing but my adrenal glands won't work...ugh! I mean I obviously know what I have to do.
Like I said though, my family and friends are so sweet! These last few days, oh my goodness! This last three-day weekend (with labor day) my mom hung-out with me like all weekend...we went shopping, she took me to stores I wanted to go to (and just getting out of the house lots), watched movies with me, and highlighted my hair (just helping to make me feel pretty--with new hair and clothes)! Then last night the young women in our ward came over to visit me and brought me cupcakes...so sweet! My cute neighbors came over to visit and they're just wonderful (she's always there to talk to, her little girl just makes me laugh and is so sweet, and I got to just hold their little baby and love him), and today I got to visit with my neighbors again and then some other neighbors down the street a little ways stopped by just to surprise me and say 'hi'! My sisters always call to see if I need anything, to check on me, and to just say hi! I can't tell you how much all of those things mean to me!!! It just literally melts my heart--it's those little tender mercies that help me through "those days"!!!
Sorry for a venting post...like I said, now you can see that I really do have those days and it's hard! But thank you to all of my family and friends you truly are my little tender mercies--even though those little things you do may not seem like alot...they are!!! :)