**Prayers Answered and Moving Forward**

This past Monday I went back down to the Huntsman Cancer Institute for another doctor's appointment with the specialist for my osteonecrosis. It was such mixed feelings going down--I had no idea what to think. My last appointment had been so hard and emotional, so I didn't know what to really expect at this one.I had called the nurse a few weeks earlier to ask a question as far as my osteonecrosis and my steroids and things, she asked me a few questions (what dose I was down to and things), we talked a little, and then she told me that she'd talk with the doctor and call me back. The voicemail she left on my phone a little later talked about how the doctor was still really wanting me to be able to be off of the steroids and pushing for that, and then she said something to the affect of 'but...well, why don't you come back down to see him due to how things are going and we'll see what he suggests.' So I made the appointment, and part of me was still hoping, crossing my fingers, and praying that this time he'd be able to do something and we could start this process (as he, the doctor, had mentioned at my last appointment that this would be a long journey but he'd be with me each step of the way); however, the other part of me was scared, nervous, didn't want to get my hopes back up, and afraid that he'd say I had to be completely off my steroids before we could start moving forward (and honestly, I didn't know if I could mentally and emotionally handle just continuing to sit at home waiting for something to happen between the adrenal glands, osteonecrosis, arachnoiditis, and things to figure things out and move forward)!
My mom and I got down to the Huntsman bright and early Monday morning, they told me that the doctor wanted some x-rays to look at my knees and femurs again, then they had us wait in the room. The first doctor came in, I think he's like either the resident or the fellow or something (anyways, super nice), and he went over how things looked on the MRIs that they did on my previous visit in September, how the x-rays that day looked, how things were feeling, and then talking about all the different types of knee replacements and also about how it's hard because of me being on the steroids places me at a high risk for infection, the dangers of infection, my adrenal insufficiency, how we'd need to take that step forward all together if we decided to do anything, and then he asked what my gut was telling me. I explained how in my gut and in my heart I wanted so bad to just start moving forward with things because I knew (know) that it's not going to just be one surgery or a short journey, how we had to take care of the osteonecrosis before we could do the stuff for the arachnoiditis and how I wanted to get back to driving again, going to school, and things; but how I was also nervous though! He said that that showed we were all on the same page of things--wanting to do things but hesitant as well--and that he'd go talk with the doctor, they'd come in, and then we'd discuss things and see what he thought.
Well a little later the doctor came in and I guess we didn't need too much discussing because, after talking out in the hall about what we had all just discussed and looking at my images and things, he said 'okay lets start this process.' So he asked about how my adrenal glands were doing, the steroid levels, went over the imaging with us, looked at my knees, and then asked which knee I wanted done first/which was the worst. I decided on the right, and so they scheduled me for my first surgery....a right knee replacement (with possible bone grafting--they'll decide on the grafting the day of the surgery depending upon the x-rays and what they see inside) on Wednesday December 12th! They'll do a pre-op on the 11th, then on the 12th they'll do the surgery, give me antibiotics, stress dose steroids (to help keep from any adrenal crisis), then I'll stay in the hospital for 2-3 days, go to the rehab center, and then 6-12 weeks later they will look at doing a replacement on my left knee, and then we'll decide on things from there.
I am so happy, excited, and ready to start moving forward and going with this process; but I am still very nervous! I trust my doctor, his nurse, and their team completely, and the hospital down there is so nice; but it's just hard not knowing what to completely expect, and to think that I'm going to have more metal in me, another replacement (I have a partial shoulder replacement), and to be down in Salt Lake rather than up in Ogden at McKay-Dee. I know that the Lord has been hearing and answering my prayers though and others (and I sincerely appreciate those prayers on my behalf), and it's time to take that next step into hopefully having a new beginning! =)